My Best Friend's Girl
by Snowluvr410
Summary: Lars is falling in love with Alfred's wife! Warnings are: Crack, AU, Drugs, Genderbending!, Alcohol, Mentions of Sex, and Vulgar Language. I don't own! R&R Peace! XP
1. Prologue

AN: Hi! This is my first Hetalia fic and it probably won't be very long, but yeah. Enjoy and review if you like, so I know that I should write more! It will be AU and very crack-ish.

I don't own anything!

Lars=Netherlands/Holland

Mathis=Denmark

Summary: Lars falls in love with Alfred's wife.

Prologue

Lars was reasonably sure that he was in love. He didn't really believe in love at first sight, he actually didn't really believe in love, per say, more like lust. He believed in that, for sure. That was what this probably was. Yeah, lust. Not love. Definitely not love.

Even if she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his whole entire existence, which was only twenty-one years, but still. By far the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Too bad she was married. To his team mate/good friend.

Maybe he should start from the beginning.

_Lars' POV_

_"Dude, Alfred, you are sooo stoned!" Mathis giggled, pointing at a dazed Alfred, who was flinging his hands around in the air like he was trying to capture something. I snickered at my friend's antics. Mathis had been able to convince me to share some of 'the good stuff' with them after our victory over the Moscow Hockey team. We barely beat them, but a slap shot from Matthew, Alfred's brother, had won us the game in the last three minutes. It was epic. _

_"Whatever man." It amused me that Alfred sounded so much more like Shaggy from Scooby Doo when he was stoned. I relaxed and took another hit from my bong, watching the going-ons of my teammates, who were in various states of inebriation. All celebrating the great victory. _

_"Well, I think Berwald and I are heading back to the hotel." Tino said from the bar after draining a glass of clear liquid. I noticed that the party was starting to die down and my weed was almost gone and decided that heading in for the night would be a good idea. _

_"Yeah, I'll join ya. Night guys." I waved to Alfred, Matthew, and Mathis, who were all zoned out and enjoying their high. "Lightweights." Tino chuckled, while Berwald attempted a smile. It looked more like a grimace though._

_"Don't smile man, its creepy." I joked, receiving a blank stare in return. The guy was a hell of a defense men, but he didn't say much and when he did it was all jumbled and I could never understand him. "Here, take a blunt. Relax." I handed it to Tino, who grinned._

_"Is this 'the good stuff'?" _

_"Nah, smoked all that. This stuff is still good though." Tino raised an eyebrow as we exited the bar. "Do you honestly think I would smoke crappy weed?" He laughed and lit up._

_"Sorry to doubt you." I pulled out one of my own and lit up as well. The walk back didn't take all that long and we parted ways in the lobby, going down separate wings. _

_I was woken up around ten in the morning by my phone. I tiredly flipped it open and mumbled a greeting, not checking to see who it was. If I had I wouldn't have answered in the first place._

_"Dude, I have a problem." I groaned and covered my eyes. Why was Alfred always getting into trouble? Sure I was his roommate most of the time but I wasn't his babysitter, which was Arthur's job._

_"What kind of problem?" Maybe he didn't know where he was. That happened quite often to him. _

_"Well, ya see. I woke up and looked over and saw this total babe lying next to me-"_

_"I don't see how that is a problem, man. I wish I woke up like that every morning." _

_"Okay, that part isn't bad. What is the bad part is that we are both wearing wedding rings and I have a vague recollection of maybe, sort of, kind of gettingmarriedlastnight." I could feel a headache coming on. Why did these things happen to me? Why couldn't Alfred be more like Ludwig? He didn't cause problems. Or Berwald? I wouldn't have to babysit him! _

_"Call Arthur." Then I hung up and flopped down on my bed with every intention of going back to sleep. I wasn't disturbed again until noon, when someone knocked on my door loudly and obnoxiously. _

_"Hey! Lars wake the fuck up! We're gonna go for lunch and we're gonna meet Alfred's new wife!" I groaned in annoyance but got up none-the-less. I pulled on some dark wash jeans and a knitted grey sweater, then some boots, a heavy jacket, and my blue and white scarf. It was freaking cold in Russia! I wondered if Alfred had been talked into staying married, at least for a while. It didn't really matter, that meant someone else could babysit him instead of me. I opened the door to see Mathis, looking annoyed and tired, most likely had a hang-over. It was a good thing we didn't have to be in St. Petersburg for another couple days. _

_We walked silently down the hall and to the lobby where some of my other teammates were waiting, all looking tired and annoyed. I empathized. We all made our way to a little café a few blocks away that served great tea. Once we arrived we pushed some tables together to fit us all and order, waiting for Alfred and his wife to show up. _

_I wondered what she looked like. I knew Alfred's type was usually blonde, blue-eyed, with a supermodel figure but I wasn't really a fan of super skinny girls, or blonde hair for that matter. I shrugged and sipped the tangy tea, deciding that whoever would marry Alfred had to be crazy. After a few more moments I saw Alfred turn the corner and what I saw made me spit my tea out. _

_She wasn't the usual type that Alfred went for, that was for sure. She had long silver hair and she was tall. Taller than Alfred (she wasn't even wearing heals!) but not as tall as I was and she wasn't anorexic looking either. She had long shapely legs, nice big hips, perfect sized breasts and the perfect hour-glass shape. Mijn Heer*, she was gorgeous! _

_It was only when they got closer that I saw that her eyes were the prettiest shade of violet and her skin was pale and flawless. I vaguely felt Mathis elbow me in the side but I didn't give a shit. I was entranced. _

_"You should tell your friend to pick up his jaw before I break it." She said, her Russian accent sending shivers down my spine. The innocent smile on her face turned devious and I felt my mouth go dry. _

_'I think I'm in love.' _

* Mijn Heer= My Lord in Dutch...I think?

Okay, so that is it for the prologue. Let me know how you like it. BTW, Alfred's wife is fem-Russia, as you might have guessed.


	2. Here Comes The Bride

AN: Hi! This is my first Hetalia fic and it probably won't be very long, but yeah. Enjoy and review if you like, so I know that I should write more! It will be AU and very crack-ish. I decided that I would go with Vanya as FemRussia's name even though it is a diminutive of Ivan, it's so pretty sounding, da?

Lars=Netherlands/Holland

Mathis=Denmark

Nikolov=Genderbended Natalia (yay for genderbending! Maybe that should be part of the warning? Ah well…too late now!)

Dee Elle: Thanks for reviewing! It's much appreciated! And I totally have a plan for Alfred and FemRussia, just you wait!

ChaoticLight: I know, Alfred is a total dunce! Anyway, thanks for the review! And the Compliment XP!

Summary: Lars falls in love with Alfred's wife.

Chapter 1

Vanya's POV~

I couldn't remember much from last night. All I know is that I went out to a bar and drank tons of vodka, because vodka was the best drink in the world. Nothing compared to Russian Vodka! I don't even remember meeting the blonde idiot I woke up with. Or marrying him for that matter. I wondered what my sister would say, Yekaterina would most likely disapprove but she decided long ago that she wanted to keep her distance from me. It still saddened me that she never even wrote. And Nikolov was deranged and obsessed with marrying me, so he wouldn't be happy with me at this point. I fear what he would do if he found out.

Alfred, as I came to find out, was a complete idiot. The first thing he said to me when he woke up was, 'You are not a hamburger!' I then proceeded to hit him. He whined like a baby for a while before calling somebody, which I thought was rude. One shouldn't call people when they are in the company of others. He did call me a babe though, which I think is a good thing. I'm not very familiar with English slang. Afterward, he asked me all sorts of stupid questions.

"What is your name? Where are you from? Are you a Communist? Do you eat babies? Have you ever killed someone?" Other such questions were asked and I felt obligated to smack his insensitive ass multiple times. It was quite satisfying. He told me many things, mostly about how awesome America was, like he was trying to convert me. It was annoying and I smacked him again. He complained a lot for a man, but maybe I was giving him too much credit?

He received another call and then rushed me to get dressed. He is a very rude man, but it could have been worse. I could have woken up next to my brother.

He led me to a quaint little café that I frequented often because their prices were low and the food quality was pretty good. Many of his teammates, as he told me before hand, were gaping, but I was expecting that. One in particular caught my attention. He had spiky hair and a scar above his right eye. He looked very rugged, but his mouth was hanging open like his jaw was broken. I believe he was checking me out. So I did what any girl would do. I turned to Alfred,

"You should tell your friend to pick up his jaw before I break it." Alfred seemed shocked and slightly appalled. He didn't seem to understand that his friend was blatantly checking me out. Idiot. His friend closed his jaw and continued to stare at me. It reminded me of Nikolov, but not as scary.

Alfred sat down and began to talk to his friends and I glared at him. Shouldn't he have pulled out a seat for me? Or at least introduce me? His friends were looking curiously at me and I felt slightly awkward as he carried on a conversation without noticing me at all. How rude. Suddenly his spiky haired friend stood up and pulled out his chair, offering it me. I walked over and took his seat.

"Спасибо. Это хорошо, что кто-то манеры." I muttered, not aware that I had been heard. (Thankyou. It is good that someone has manners. [I think?])

"My name is Tino, and you are?" I turned to the blonde next me and gave a slight smile.

"My name is Vanya Braginskaya."

"It is nice to meet you! This is Berwald," he pointed to a tall, stoic, blonde man with glasses next to him, "Mathis," a tall man with wild hair, "and Lars," the man who was gaping at me was still gaping at me, but now he sported a slight blush. It was amusing to me.

"It is nice to meet you all. At least someone has some manners." I replied looking at Alfred who was taking part in an animated discussion with another blonde man.

"Oh, don't mind him. He can be a bit air headed at times." Tino said, smiling cheerfully. Part of me wanted to pinch him. I refrained.

"You don't say." The spiky haired man had yet to sit down and I looked at him questioningly.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" He stuttered, mumbled, and blushed so much I wondered if his head might explode (I know this isn't typical Netherlands behavior, but I'm trying to portray the fact that he is in awe of her beauty! Romantic, da?). Tino placed a hand on his shoulder as if to comfort him and I wondered if he was in pain over something.

"Yeeeeaaaaah….he usually isn't this bad around beautiful women." The tall one (Mathis? I don't know) said from his seat and I felt a slight blush come to my cheeks.

"Vanya! These are my teammates!" Alfred shouted right into my ear causing me to shriek before sending an elbow into his face on instinct alone. "Ah jeeze! You crazy commie, what was that for!"

Alfred was holding his nose and blubbering on and on.

"It is not my fault that you snuck up on me and scared me! That is what you get!" I reached over and grabbed a napkin from the table. "And I'm not a commie!" I tried to pull his hands away but he kept on mumbling things. I couldn't understand most of it because it was so fast and my English isn't that good but the words 'married', 'commie', and 'crazy' were said.

"It wasn't my idea to get married to idiot like you either! All you have done since we woke up was complain endlessly, call me names, and act childishly!" Alfred pulled his hand down and furrowed his eyebrows.

'At least he isn't crying anymore…'

"Well, it wasn't my idea to marry a crazy, ugly, stupid commie! All **you've** done is insult me, beat on me, and threaten me!" There was a gasp around the table and I felt a vaguely murderous feeling rise up inside me.

"Sounds like for-play to me." Mathis muttered to Lars (who had been knocked out of his stupor by the yelling), who wiggled his eyebrows in return. I ignored them and lifted my hands, intending to wrap them around his neck.

"You stupid_ ублюдок!* _I'll kill you!"

"Alfred! Apologize at once! That is no way for a man to treat a woman, let alone his wife!" A blonde man with thick eyebrows and green eyes said, standing up and grabbing Alfred by the ear. I wasn't deterred. I approached Alfred and shot my hands out, only to be yanked back when I was centimeters from my target.

"Alright, I think we need to calm down. As much as the dumbass deserves it, I can't have you killing my teammate. We actually need him." I turned around to see Lars, who promptly blushed and smiled. I deflated in defeat and allowed him to place me in a chair, on the other side of the table from Alfred, who was being scolded by the blonde man.

"Who is that man?" I pointed to the blonde man from before and Tino followed my finger.

"That would be Arthur. He is like Alfred's cousin or something. He is sort of the unofficial team manager. He just follows the team around and makes sure Alfred doesn't do anything stupid."

"He did a great job last night." Lars muttered and I couldn't help but agree.

"Yeah, last night he was distracted by Francis…" Tino trailed off, a bright blush on his face.

"So, they fucked?" I thought it was a valid question. Tino sputtered and blushed, while Lars and Mathis snickered. The tallest blonde gave a grave nod, while staring me down. It was a bit freaky but I stared right back. Then he smiled. Well, maybe it was a smile, a demented, twisted, creepy smile. I think I might have shrieked in terror but I will deny that forever.

"Berwald, didn't I tell you no smiling? You're creeping everyone out." Lars said, taking a sip of his tea.

"You guys, coach called. He wants to have a team meeting before practice." There were collective groans around the table before they started to get up and call over the waiter. While they were paying their tabs Alfred walked over, his hands raised indicating peace.

"Um, I guess I'll see you after practice?"

"Yes, we should talk about situation and what to do next."

"Okay, we'll be at the hotel around five-"

"In the morning?"** Alfred rolled his eyes and moaned in annoyance.

"He meant seventeen hundred." Tino put in helpfully.

"Yeah, we'll be there then."

"Okay, good bye."

Normal POV~with the guys

Alfred turned to look at his roommate with a raised eyebrow.

"So, you got the hots for my wife, huh?" Lars looked at the other for a moment.

"I should hit you for calling her ugly. She's probably the best looking girl you've ever been with."

"Yeah, dude, calling a girl ugly to her face is pretty much as bad as calling her fat-" Mathis was cut off by Alfred.

"Which she kind of is, by the way." Lars promptly punched Alfred in the arm, causing the other blonde to start whining.

"Okay dude, you've got issues if you think she was fat. Hey, if you divorce her, do you think she'll go for me?" Mathis asked, also getting punched by Lars. "Hey, don't get so touchy! I was just asking."

"Mathis, you don't want any of what she's selling, trust me man. She's crazy! All she does is hit me, threaten to kill me, and insult me! Did you know that she called me fat? Me! Fat? Yeah right." Mathis, Lars, and Tino shared a look.

"Well, Alfred, you are starting to get a small gut. It's probably all that greasy, fattening food you eat." Tino said, trying to not anger the American. Alfred rolled his eyes.

"I'm not fat. Besides, who is she to call me fat?" Lars again punched him, this time in the lower back.

"Kidney shot!" Alfred yelped in pain and started whining all over again.

"You know Lars, I'm starting to think you actually like that crazy commie." Lars hit him again.

"Your right Alfred, I think Lars has a crush!" Mathis proclaimed loudly, getting the attention of most of their present teammates. There was snickering all around and jokes. Lars ignored them and started to walk a bit faster. He heard his teammates burst out in laughter behind him.

Later that Day~

"You want to get divorce?" Vanya asked. Alfred sighed and scratched his head.

"Well, I don't want to stay married, do you?"

"To you? Nyet," Alfred pouted at the emphasis, "but I do not want to stay in Russia. Maybe we can make compromise?"

"What do you mean? Compromise?" Vanya rolled her eyes.

"We stay married, I go with you but you can screw whoever you want and I won't care."

"Well, I'm sure my coach won't care, he doesn't really care that Arthur comes with us. I'm sure he won't mind you as well. He might ask that you contribute though."

"I can do laundry, make healthy food, whatever, da?"

"Well, as long as we don't have to share a bed, I'm cool with that." She rolled her eyes again.

'I can't believe I'm desperate enough to get out of Russia to live with this fool.'

"Okay. I go get my things, da? Goodbye!" Alfred watched as she walked away, appreciating the fact that he would at least have something nice to look at on the bus.

"Nice Ass." He then turned to go back to his room.

* ублюдок=bastard

** Europeans use the military time thing instead of the way in the US and since its Alfred...well, I think you get it XP. I thought I would throw that in there because I find it funny.

I decided that Vanya will have problems with certain English words, sayings, and slang. In Russian, there aren't words like, 'the', 'a', and 'an' so she won't be using those either. If you read sentences and go wtf?, That sounds wonky, it was meant to be that way! I won't, however, be writing her thoughts like that because I don't want it all to sound like crap lol.

Well, things are going to get more interesting soon. I just thought I would put in some interaction to set the foundation for how rocky the road will be!

So, who do ya'll want Vanya to end up with?

Here are the options:

Alfred, her creepy brother Nikolov (if you want it, I'll write it, but I might not enjoy it, then again…), Lars (I think he deserves some love, da?), Mathis (total bamf btw), or another one of the characters!

Let me know! It is completely up to you guys and you can vote by review. I'll probably end the voting by next Sunday, so let the voting commence!

Peace guys ~_l


	3. She's Fcking Crazy

AN: Hi! This is my first Hetalia fic and it probably won't be very long, but yeah. Enjoy and review if you like, so I know that I should write more! It will be AU and very crack-ish. I decided that I would go with Vanya as FemRussia's name even though it is a diminutive of Ivan, it's so pretty sounding, da?

Dee Elle: Thanks for reviewing! You were the only one and that kind of makes me sad, but one fan is better than none! So, I shall continue for you! Go You! i guess you like America/Russia pairings, da? That's cool, so do I! So, they will end up together! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Lars=Netherlands/Holland

Mathis=Denmark

Nikolov=Genderbended Natalia

Summary: Lars falls in love with Alfred's wife.

Chapter 2

_"Mmm Lars, come here." A smooth voice whispered. She beckoned me over with a curl of her finger and I walked over obediently. Her hands rose and tangled in my hair, before falling to my shoulders. She massaged the muscles of my neck while she sucked on an ear lobe, ripping a low groan from me. She chuckled and abandoned my neck. _

_Slim, pale fingers skimmed down my clothed torso, only to hook in the hem and pull the shirt off. Moist, soft lips latched onto mine and a greedy tongue forced its way in my mouth. My hands found their way underneath a grey sweater and met warm, soft skin. She nipped my lip and pulled away, only to pull of all her clothes. _

_She slithered downwards, hands groping at well-formed abs, muscular back, and finally hard thighs. _

_I groaned in want. _

_Her hands were nimble as they unbuttoned my jeans and then pulled down the zipper. My pants and boxers were yanked down and a warm mouth took me in at the same time. I was vaguely aware that the moans bouncing off the walls were my own but I felt too good to care about the volume. My fingers found their way into silky hair and my knees almost collapsed under me when I felt her throat constricting around me. _

_I was getting close to completion when abruptly she pulled away. _

_"None of that now, I'm not finished with you yet." I couldn't get enough of that sexy accent and then her lips were back on mine and we were groping at each other. We slowly made our way to the bed, still connected at the lips. I fell backwards when my knees collided with the edge of the bed and she moved to straddle me. _

_I groaned at the sight. Her lips met mine in a sweet kiss and I felt my heart start to pound harder. It wasn't greedy and demanding like the others and she let me explore her mouth for a moment before straightening up. She hovered above me, ready to impale herself when a devious smirk formed on her lips._

_"Get ready,_ _любимая." _

"HEY LARS! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I shot up in my bed and looked around, groaning when I realized that it was all just a dream. I glared at the door and my still sleeping roommate.

"LARS! HURRY UP MAN!"

"Mathis, stop being a pain in my ass!" I said back, getting up only to realize that I still had an erection. "Dude, come back later, I gotta take a shower!"

"…OH LARS HAD A NASTY DREAM! I BET I KNOW WHO IT WAS ABOUT!" Mathis yelled, while snickering obnoxiously.

"Oh grow up!" I growled out as I headed to the in-suite bathroom. I slammed the door as Mathis started another round of taunting. "Ass." I muttered, turning on the shower and shedding my clothes. "I hate cold showers."

Meanwhile~

"Alfred!" The blonde snored on, irritating the woman lying next to him. She had been woken up by the squabbling between Mathis and Lars.

"Alfred!" She hissed again. He snorted in his sleep before mumbling incoherently.

"Alfred!" She shook his shoulder.

"Five more minutes mom." He mumbled before shifting. She groaned in irritation before getting an idea. She placed her hands on his shoulder and her feet on his hip and shoved him off the bed. He landed with a hard thud.

"AHHH! Wha? Whassgoinon?" He looked around before his eyes landed on the woman smirking triumphantly on his bed. He frowned before taking a hold of the sheets and yanking on them with his considerable strength. She screeched as she soon joined him on the floor, landing on his lap. They glared at each other for a moment before Alfred broke the silence.

"What are you doing in my bed, Vanya?"

"What do you mean? You are one who told me that I could sleep here because you would be out partying. You came back drunk and started feeling me up!" He took in her attire and realized that she was wearing his sweater from last night and a pair of his boxers. He lifted up the blanket and noticed that he was completely naked. He shrugged and went to get back on the bed, taking the squawking woman with him, simply because she was on top of him.

"I don't recall you protesting, in fact, if I recall correctly, you were telling me to go _'faster!'_,_ 'harder!'_, _'C'mon, stupid American! I'm not done yet!'_" Vanya scowled and fought him for a moment when he went to pull her down to lay next to him.

"Well, you started it! _'Oh, c'mere, baby. Your so sexy!' _You sounded desperate! I pitied you." She growled as he wrapped an arm around her and she gave in, placing her head on his shoulder. He snorted in response.

"Must have been if I ended up sleeping with you last night." He murmured, earning a painful pinch on his chest. "OW! Hey, I was just kidding jeeze!"

"You keep saying I am ugly and yet you still have sex with me. You are crazy, American."

"Maybe I just call you ugly to piss you off. Seems to work quite well, crazy Commie." She pinched his nipple and twisted, causing a half-pain half-pleasure filled moan to escape his mouth.

"You are crazy masochist, stupid American and do not call me Communist." Alfred gripped her head and kissed her roughly on the lips for a moment before pulling away.

"You're a sadistic, bitch aren't ya?" He rolled over on top of her and bit at her neck.

With Lars~

Lars grumbled as he pulled on his clothes. It was already late so he might as well get ready to go to practice. After finishing with his bathroom routine, he gathered his things and opened the door only to be met with a loud feminine moan. He looked up and over to Alfred's side of the room and scowled.

'I hate when he brings girls back to our room!' What he saw made him drop all of his things and stare in unabashed shock, blood spurting from his nose. A moment later his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Across the room~

"Why did you stop?" Alfred whined. Vanya smacked him across the face before scrambling off of him and pulling his sweater and boxers back on.

"I cannot believe I forgot he was in there." She mumbled as she retreated under the covers, turning her back on a frustrated Alfred, who groaned in annoyance. He reached into his bag on the ground and pulled out a pair of sweats. He tugged them on and got out of bed, grumbling the whole way. He walked over to the unconscious form of his roommate and nudged him awake with his foot, half tempted to kick his head just for interrupting them.

"Uhn…stop it." Lars groaned, swatting his hand at Alfred's foot.

"No way man, you totally deserve it."

"Please tell me you weren't having sex with Vanya."

"I would say I'm sorry but I'm kind of pissed at you right now." Lars stumbled to his feet and glared at Alfred.

"I thought you didn't like her." He grumbled unhappily, picking up his stuff. Alfred shrugged and scratched his head.

"Sex is sex, regardless if it is with a crazy, commie, bitch." There was a loud thunk and Alfred yelped as a high-heeled boot hit him in the head.

"I told you, I am not commie!" Lars snickered as Alfred flipped her off only to get hit with the other boot. "Stupid American!" Lars couldn't help but think she was even more beautiful when she was angry.

"HEY! LARS, ARE YOU READY TO GO NOW! IF YOU AREN'T I'M LEAVING WITHOUT YOU AND YOU'LL HAVE TO EAT BY YOURSELF AND THEN GO TO PRACTICE ALONE!" Mathis screamed from the other side of the door. Vanya leaped out of bed and threw the door open.

"Why do you yell so loudly! You wake people up with your big, dumb mouth!" Mathis grinned and Alfred face palmed, knowing that the tall blonde was about to say something stupid.

"Well, hello to you too, pretty lady! Have you reconsidered my offer from yesterday?" She growled and smacked him across the face.

"I do not want to have sex with you! Not yesterday, not now, not tomorrow, not EVER!" Mathis did not seem bothered by the smack to the face, actually seemed more excited by it.

"And yet, you'll sleep with Alfred? What does he have that I don't?" Vanya roared in anger before picking up Alfred's hockey stick and bashing it over Mathis' head, knocking him unconscious.

"Ублюдок! Вы хуже, чем тупые американские! Я убью тебя сейчас!" (Bastard! You're worse than stupid American! I'll kill you! [I think?]) She brought the hockey stick up over her head but Alfred managed to restrain her before she did any more damage. She was still swinging the stick around, but she was working on hitting Alfred instead.

"Calm down ya crazy woman!" He managed to restrain her easily enough but avoiding his own hockey stick was proving to be very difficult.

"Put me down! I'll kill you too!" She growled in response.

"Lars! Stop standing there like a lump and grab the frickin stick before she kills me!" Alfred yelled at a very dazed Dutchman.

'…I can see up her shorts…' He did not feel obligated to move that point in time.

After a few moments, the fight was broken up by Arthur, who had barged in and grabbed the hockey stick. Vanya calmed down enough that Alfred sat her back on the bed and Arthur proceeded to give them a boring lecture on inappropriate behavior.

"Ah c'mon Arthur! We're gonna miss lunch! Plus, I really think we should get Mathis to the hospital, she hit him pretty hard, not to mention Lars hasn't moved from that spot in the past ten minutes and I really don't think it is healthy to lose that much blood." Arthur rolled his eyes at the situation and pulled out his mobile phone, most likely to call the team doctors.

"Get dressed Alfred, you still have practice to attend. And Vanya…ehh, do what you want?" He finished quickly at the deadly glare sent his way.

"I am going back to sleep." She shoved Alfred away and climbed into bed, snuggling under the covers.

Later~

"Alfred…" Alfred looked up from tying his hockey skates to see Mathis leaning on the lockers next to his.

"Yeah?"

"Your new wife is insane." Alfred sighed and stood up, finished with his skates. He grabbed his stick and followed Mathis out of the locker room.

"I know…"

Well, that is it for now! And considering only one person voted, it'll be AlfredXVanya, so yeah...enjoy! reviews are great!

Yeah, there might be a lot of typos considering I was kind of plastered when I wrote some of this..heh heh...yeah...

...I love beer X3

Peace!


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